Us Vs. Them by Farah Firthous

‘Let’s make it compulsory for men to cook on festivals and traditional days. Shall we see how many of these traditions last long?’ I remember I read a tweet as such a few months ago and I realized that if we put all the burden women are bearing up in the name of culture and tradition on men, all these will vanish within a little period. 

How would it be tough for all the men to remarry after their spouses die? How would it be if we stare at men and make it uncomfortable for them on the streets? How would it be if they have to pay the sum of money the mother and the father of the bride demands? I bet half of the unnecessary obligatory burden women are bearing alone in the societal structure today will vanish.

But we also would notice these stereotypes aren’t stuck to gender roles. They go across all the boundaries of class, race, religion, caste and social economical status of an individual. Where an act allowed by the society for a rich isn’t allowed for a poor even though the money they possess has nothing to do with it. We can hold on to debate for hours to say nothing is legally an obstacle and everyone has their fundamental rights. But are you sure it is only the legal limit that stops a citizen from engaging in an act? 

The role stereotypes play in our society is huge that we have considered a part of the society as not of ‘us’ or ‘ours’. This makes the resources, abilities, relationships of one group not accessible and approachable to another.

But don’t you realize this actually stops the diverse talents, resources and opportunities from mixing. And this impacts a lot in the development of the society and growing bigger this impacts the development of the country’s economy and wellbeing.

You can be someone who has been fighting within your societal structure to change the misconceptions about people and the stereotypes about them. But if you ever experience an incident which confirms the stereotype you tend to lose your wise sight.

For example, when you were a child, if your mother always said not to befriend the child who sits next to you because she believes the child’s father is a thief, and one day if your pencil goes missing your prime suspect becomes ‘the child who sits next to you’. This is why the ones who implant stereotypes get more successful than the ones who try to eradicate it.

But this idea can be changed very easily and practically when you move along with people closely associating, then more you learn about human nature that would enlarge your ideas about the stereotypes. 

The severe and the worst form of stereotypes that we find difficult even in the present world is Gender stereotypes and gender roles. We are living in a society that still implants the idea of gender inequality in the profession we pursue and the passion we want to follow.

I used to be a person who had a stereotypical judgments in my perspectives. I stereotyped people based on the way they dress, the way do they talk? the way they walk, the way they mingle, the way they practice religion, the way they eat, the way they spend money, the way they score marks, etc. It took a day to change my entire perspective on judging people based on stereotypes when I was judged based on one. 

We are humans, again being stereotypical, we don’t understand the volume of impact we create on another person by a negative attitude until it takes the round and comes to us. But this stereotype also can be broken. Meeting new people in new circumstances and reading about people from different backgrounds can elementarily prepare us to break the stereotypes in our personal lives. 

The purpose of life should be to live an inclusive and and ethical lives on the planet giving value to the world that holds us. ‘Being kind is always fashionable’, they say. But without breaking the stereotypes the kindness and inclusiveness might be only in books and not in our hearts